I want my own Woodrow

I just watched Bellflower. I want my own flamethrower & I want to use it on Patrick's belongings like Woodrow did to Milly's in the film. It's brilliant, see it immediately. I want a man like Woodrow- cute, loving, loyal, fun, drunk a lot and will defend my honor. Any man that can reference Mad Max has a vote in my book. I want a man who can cuddle with me after we've gotten drunk. Oddly, though, I feel like Woodrow. So, maybe I want a man like myself. I think I do. So, a hot mess who reads a lot and loves the shit out of Ancient Aliens & Law & Order. He doesn't exist. A male me doesn't exist. I just want to make out & cuddle. I'm rambling. I still have 5 months of not dating & getting to know myself. I'm getting used to being alone. Starting to like this girl. She's cooler than she lets on.