Hanging with E

Week one of my not dating & getting to know myself. It sucks a dick. I think I'm my own worst enemy. I don't really enjoy all this time to myself. Luckily, my loneliness has been alleviated by the company of friends on a couple of nights. There's been a shit ton of movie watching. I, also, literally spent a whole night thinking about the movie Inception. On my very best days, I have V to keep me company. I couldn't ask for a sweeter kid. He's the best thing to ever happen to me.
My self-imposed exile from dating hasn't stopped me from checking activity on the dating website. Frankly, it's just too entertaining. And, when a hot guy leaves you a message saying you're "fucking gorgeous" you have to check that shit out. So sue me. It's like the male gender knows what I'm doing and is tempting me. I'd like to think they'll miss me if I stay away for six months. Good gravy, I think I need therapy. Seriously. How do I not lose my mind? Why am I so obsessed with men? It's ridiculous. I think I have the emotional maturity of a teenage girl. I caught myself seriously oogling a boy at the Moundsville Wal-Mart deli counter the other day. I'm turning into a creeper. I have all these boys in their twenties messaging me. I have zero desire for men my age. What would I rather have- hot, muscled guys with stamina or pot-bellied, boring guys who tire easily? Yep, twenties. I mean, sixth months from now. Yeah, right.