Saturday, October 26, 2013

Is everyone losing their shit?

  I don't know about the rest of you, but I think everyone is acting batshit this week. Most notable on this list is my mother. Sweet Lord, I need a break from her. When Viggo and I visited the other day, she spent her day slamming things around, grumbling under her breath (but distinctly loud enough for me to hear) and generally being a mean jerk. I've spent a lifetime of dealing with her insanity, Viggo doesn't need it. So, we left early. She cried and apologized, but honestly, I have to treat her like my bad, teenage daughter. She only learns this way. I'm just too tired to deal with her anymore. In my youth, I'd fight back with tenacity. Now, I get up and leave. Driving aimlessly around the Ohio Valley is much better than subjecting us to her terror. It would be splendid if she ever took medication for her insane moods, but that will never happen.
  People in Pittsburgh have been just as crazy. I watched one of my co-workers try to give out free samples of pumpkin cheesecake today, only to get rudely told "NO!" by about ten different people. Christ on a cracker, people, she was asking if you wanted a cheesecake sample, not an donation. What happened to common decency? I try to be nice to everyone. When I went to Panera and tried to fill up my coffee only to find three giant pots empty, I stayed calm. Ok, no I didn't, but I didn't take it out on any of the people who worked there. If you ask my boyfriend, I probably wasn't the most fun to be around, but I didn't act like a jerk. I almost punched a man from a trailer park who was shorter than me, but that's another story. He called my mom the c-word. She may be sir, but that's not for you to decide. There's enough horrendous things going on in the world, that I don't feel I need to add any of my bad feelings to it. Because of that, I'd like to think I'm liked for my sunny disposition. All I know is that I'm staying inside tonight, away from all the crazies.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

The promise of bacon

  The other night I bought a candy bar that had bacon and potato chip bits in it. Before devouring it, I thought about its potential. Combining three delicious components may be the best thing ever. I would crave it everyday. What if it were hard to find? After taking a bite, I realized what a disappointment it was. The bacon was a fake bacon flavor & the potato chips were barely perceptible. It was like many things in life- you look forward to them so much, only to be disappointed. 
  I think it's similar to getting mad at my boyfriend the other day for being sick. We see each other once a week & spend a blissful night together. It's only one day a week due to work & school schedules. But, that night is always so much fun. So, when he told me he was sick & couldn't stay over, I got irrationally mad. It's like anticipating that candy bar only to find out the bacon is fake. Being a woman gives me license to get mad over ridiculous things. Being a man made him apologize for being sick. He's such a wonderful man that he even gave me a card saying he loves being with me, but he can't when he's sick. I think it also qualifies me as a jerk and him as the best boyfriend ever. I've never had such an attentive boyfriend. If I had to experience all the pain and heartache from past relationships again just to get to this point, I totally would. He's so worth it. 

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

I'm cranky and going to complain now

  This day sucked. In fact, this past month has sucked. I've been sick for literally 5 weeks now. The bronchitis that keeps on giving. Granted, it's a lot better, but I'm still coughing like a TB patient. I can't be my usual cheery self because I have coughing fits when I laugh. Bill Burr came to Pittsburgh and I couldn't go because I would've ruined his show with my sled dog sounding coughs. To make matters worse, I live in a mold infested house that is never cleaned and smells to high heaven like pot smoke. Oh, that's because it's full of pot smoke. My roommate smokes like he's auditioning to be in a Cheech & Chong remake of Up In Smoke. It fucking stinks. He's momentarily not here and it still smells like pot. It's not even good pot. I can tell by the smell. I've been around people who smoke good pot and this is light years away from that. There's no respite here for my lungs. I clean the hell out of this place. When I moved in, there was black mold everywhere. And here's my roommate, just hanging tough with it. Most of it just wiped right off with a sponge. Oscar the Grouch is probably cleaner.
  My car sucks. My back window has inexplicably decided to fall down and not stay up. I've resorted to taping and gluing it. I still have the ongoing problem of it overheating. Now, my breaks are squeaking. It's a piece of shit. Fuck you, J.D. Byrider.
  However, I have some good days with Viggo and usually one day a week with my boyfriend. We spend one night a week, drinking wine, eating cheese and snuggling like madmen. What would I do without him?