Thursday, March 12, 2015

The force is not with me

  If you're wondering what online dating is like, just take a look at the attached picture. It pretty much sums it up. I would say 90% of the people who contact me are people I would never date or engage in any fashion. This is not to be snobbish. I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but these fellas are not in my wheelhouse. Some write very nice messages. But, I know what I want, or more of what I don't want. A man dressed as Darth Vader is not what I want. That's not to say that I don't get responses by attractive men who have things in common with me. I do. But, they're usually one of two types. They're either looking for a hook-up or they flake out when you want to meet them. I've been talking to one guy for months and he flakes out every time I suggest meeting up. I officially gave up on him. What's the point? It's like having a strange form of pen pal.
  I did have one date recently, but I'm sure it was a fluke. He was handsome, funny, cool. We discussed Hemingway, Kerouac and writing in general. It was a great date. So, I hold out 0% hope that there will be another one. I just can't have nice things. He'll flake. They all do. To say I'm jaded, at this point, is an understatement. I'm not even desiring that much. I just want a man to hang out with once in a while. The Russian was always concerned with marriage, saying he never wanted to be married. First, I would tell him that my experience was a great one. Then, I would remind him that I don't think I ever want to get married again. It was a moot point. Regardless, it was one of his focal points in our mutual breakup. I'm perfectly happy to "live in sin" or just hang out out whenever. I just want to kiss, snuggle and watch Netflix.
  Maybe there are too many options. Choosing a potential mate becomes very dismissive. Some people get too specific. I had one guy message me, asking if I was dominant. He said it was essential in his relationships. It made me think about arranged marriages. Those people didn't have a choice. The man couldn't demand a woman be dominant. He was probably thankful if she was the least bit attractive. I have very few stipulations-no guns, Nascar hats or extreme obesity in the profile pictures. Sadly, that cuts out about half of my options. About 20 times a day, I wonder why I'm on any of these sites and consider deleting my profiles.