Post breakup, you always analyze yourself and come up with a list of things to change about yourself. Top that with it being the beginning of a new year & successfully avoiding a cancer scare- there are some changes due to be happening. Getting cheated on & dumped is just the cherry on top.
First, it's been a mental/emotional examination. In the past few weeks, I've read five billion self help and positive thinking books. It's not working. Ask my co-workers. I think I've growled at some of them lately. I've been a total dick.
My Brazil Butt Lift DVD system came in the mail today. I think I'm going to have some body revolution. This is the same girl who routinely loses the remote control & rather than look for it, just watches a shitty show. Yeah, I'm going to exercise everyday.
Half the time, I just want to wake up like Leonard in Memento & not know what the hell is going on. My important tattoos would say "Viggo-son" & "you work at a bookstore". That's all I need. I'd be happy not remembering why I hurt or who hurt me. I'm cursed with remembering.
But, it takes time to heal. Maybe in a month, I won't be growling & i'll have a banging, tinier ass. I'll be glowing with positive energy. I'll greet everyone with a smile. This is my hope. To mentally rebuild myself like the Bionic Man was rebuilt with parts. I'm trying & that matters most. I'll find love & happiness again. Just have to find it with myself first. In the meantime I'll just growl & do ridiculous exercise DVDs with my blinds closed.