Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Waiting for my Joe Rogan

After an absolute hilarious Facebook chat with my cousin, I started thinking about what kind of man I deserve. She declared it should be Joe Rogan. If you're not familiar, Google him. Comedian, podcast host, Fear Factor host & pure muscled man. Damn, I do deserve a man like that. I declared, lucky is the lady who goes home to Joe Rogan. God bless, Mrs. Rogan. It's all good. Why can't I have a good-looking, all muscled, funny, intelligent man? Somehow, I can usually snag a good-looking man. And, I've had a few no fat, trim guys. Don't ask how I manage this. One of the great mysteries of life. The last one was good-looking, smart and funny. He just couldn't keep it in his pants. So, there's the rub, right? Not literally, ew. How do you find a man with all these qualities who is not a complete asshole? I might as well search for a unicorn. Oh, and I know you're thinking you know a guy for me. Really? No. A good friend was recently trying to set me up with her husband's friend. She showed me his picture. Asshole that I am, I sucked in my breath & vigorously shook my head. Then, I felt bad & apologized for being superficial. I'm sure he's a nice guy. Just not what this jerk is looking for in a man. If you think you know a man, then, by all means, set me up. Right now, I'm holding out for my Joe Rogan. We'll see. You can visit me in a few years with my 500 cats. Bring a lint brush!