Sunday, December 30, 2012

Percentage of finding love is 0%.

There's so much to do in Pittsburgh. For the first time in my life, I'm venturing out a lot on my own. I feel I have a tinge of social anxiety, so it doesn't happen too often. People up here are so nice. They strike up conversation. Coming from WV, it's weird. When I got Chinese food the other night, a woman waiting for food struck up conversation about the weather. I was elated, of course. In Wheeling, people grimly stand in line & wait for their product. This friendliness is an adjustment. I'm not saying there aren't dicks up here. I wanted to punch a woman in the face the other day. It's just astonishing how much nicer they are.
I love seeing different types of people. The area I live in is hardcore Jewish. I mean, long beard, black hat wearing Jewish. Let me tell you who's hardcore about making their kids shovel snow- Koreans & Jews. When we got this storm I saw kids V's age busting ass shoveling. The Jewish kid next door shoveled the shit out of his family's driveway. As I drove to work, I saw what looked like a six year old Korean kid getting his balls busted by his mom for not shoveling right. That's awesome. Viggo acts like he's dying if he has to get up & get his own drink. I should let him bunk with that kid for a week.
Oh, and you know how I came up with the statistic of 3 out of 5 men here being good looking? Well, 3 out of 5 are also gay. My gaydar is completely broken. I can't tell who's gay or straight. So, I just flirt with all men. Throwing it out there like a boomerang hoping it brings something back. Can't hurt, right? Oh, yes it can. I snagged an older gentleman admirer at work. I guess he's a regular. Very polite and well-dressed with obviously a lot of money. He tells me how beautiful I am all the time. Yesterday, he inquired if I had a boyfriend. I lied & said "yes". Disappointed, he inquired as to whether my mother looked like me & was single. Jesus. Why can't this man be thirty years younger. He said if I'm ever single, he'd love to take me to dinner. I just can't do the sugar daddy thing. I'm the jackass that's still looking for true love. The hell with luxury & comfort, I need love (which I'm convinced is as dead as disco). What's wrong with me? The old man said the boyfriend better marry me before someone "snatches me up". If he only knew the truth. No one is snatching this lady up. If I were merchandise, I'd be in a discount bin. I've had a couple of guys seem flirty at work, but, they were probably gay. At this point, I might look into becoming a beard. You know how many boyish-looking girls I've seen with boyfriends? What the shit? Maybe I should Boy's Don't Cry myself everyday to get a date. Tape down my boobs & wear my Gary Oldman glasses & no makeup. I always think these girls are lesbians, but then they mention having a boyfriend or fiancée. FIANCÉE! I can't get a date & girl over here that looks like a white Urkel is getting married?! This sucks. I see M a lot, but I think it's all just physical for him. I want a guy to hang out with. I have great conversations with him, too. His intelligence is through the roof. But, guys are weird.