Friday, June 29, 2012

Mars Volta t-shirt is my rat fur hat

  Last night, I had a fantastic date. We went out to the South Side in Pittsburgh. Went to see a friend of his playing a show at midnight. Great band, can't remember their name. Before the band came on, we bar hopped and got some food. It was a fun night. He was very easy going. And, I'm always easy going. Good combination. We played darts and drank. Just a lot of fun. Maybe a LOT of fun. Wink, wink. I wore a dress on this date, so I didn't want to do a "walk of shame" the next morning. He was gracious enough to lend me a t-shirt, which he declared was his favorite. It was super-tiny. He insinuated that it might not fit & I got offended thinking he was implying I was pudgy. He admitted he was referring to it not fitting because he thought I had big boobs. Oops. I'll take that any day. I paired that tiny, Mars Volta t-shirt with a pair of huge jean shorts. I slept in that outfit and made sure I walked out wearing it. You may remember a very funny Seinfeld where George purposefully left a rat fur hat in a woman's apartment to ensure a second date. Yep, that Mars Volta t-shirt is my rat fur hat. Hey, I don't get men. I don't know what it takes for a second date. Probably not sleeping with them on the first. But, no use shutting the barn door after the horse is out, right. By barn door, I must mean vagina. I liked him. He looked like the bastard son of Robert Pattinson, Michael Pitt and Michael Shannon. He was very tall, mmmmm, I like tall. Plus, we got along so well in all areas. What's wrong with wanting a second date? Either way, it's a win-win for me. If he makes a second date, my fur hat trick worked. If not, I got a sweet t-shirt.  I always come away with something collectors items from my encounters with men. My best gain was a tiny video camera. Most of the time, I get some sweet shirts or shorts. I should seriously reconsider becoming a lesbian. Can you imagine the haul I might come away with? It might be glorious.