Sunday, June 17, 2012

Taking a break

  After this past week, I've decided I need a dating break. At least, from bald guys with glasses. Things do seem to come in threes- first Ben, then Pepe LePew guy and now my newest dating debacle. All three had shaved heads and glasses. Two ended up being bi-polar. All were ready to settle down with me for life. Well, Ben split after three weeks and a bi-polar episode. Anyway, here's the most recent straw that broke Erin's dating back.
  I met Steve online. Really cool guy, handsome. We texted like crazy until our first date, last Sunday. I drove to his apartment in Pittsburgh. He made me dinner, we watched Mad Men and True Blood, we talked for hours. It was a perfect date. I felt so unbelievably comfortable with him. He was even a great kisser. It was very exciting. Then, the weirdness began. I woke up everyday to video messages from him. Sweet, but he kind of talked to me in the same voice he talked to his dog. I tried to push it under the rug and go about my business. I would log onto Facebook and he'd IM me. Aw, he really likes talking to me, I thought. He posted a picture of flowers when I had a bad day. Nice, right? But, then, the two kickers came. One, he posted a picture of us kissing on Facebook. He kind of took the photo on the sly. That's ok, whatever. But, posting it on Facebook. I was wearing my fucking Gary Oldman glasses to top it off. All of a sudden, I'm getting texts and messages from friends asking if I have a new boyfriend. Then, I log on and see this humongous picture of the two of us. WHAT THE SHIT?! Needless to say, I took it off my timeline. Then, the final shit happened to make me say, this has got to end. We were supposed to have a date this past Saturday. Midway through the week, he texts and says he can unexpectedly come for a visit. No, I say, not a good idea, I have V that night and I'm not keen on him meeting anyone I'm dating until we've really been dating awhile. He texts back wanting to know what time V will be asleep, saying he'll wait outside in the car. Then, he says he just wants to come in for five minutes to kiss me and he'll leave. Nope, not a good idea, I say. In my head, I'm like WTF?! Seriously. When you're suddenly not looking forward to your second date, it's time to end shit. I felt like a man with a clingy woman. I felt bad telling him how I felt, but I can't be anything but honest. He's a truly nice guy and deserved the truth, even if it hurt. I hate that I hurt him, but I can't do that shit. He's a super sweet guy. I really hope he finds someone. It just can't be me for a variety of reasons. Mainly that video message. Ugh, it makes me cringe when I watch it. It's so weird because of love being showered with affection. I guess I have a boiling point.
  So, hence the break. I can't find a happy medium. It's either guys just want sex or now, my soul. No one wants just a regular second date. Plus, I'm still not over Patrick. Six months going and I'm still not over him. Bullshit. I hate myself for it. But, I feel deep down that he was the one. I compare every man to him. Maybe I should stay alone.