I had an interesting discussion with my friend, Mark, the other day. He was crashing here for a night while traveling. By the time he got to my house around 10pm, I was completely drunk. I had a horrendous day at work. In fact, I've been having horrendous days at work everyday. We've been without a manager and adjusting to a new one. I've been working like a fiend. By the time I come home, I'm mentally and physically exhausted. Everyday. To deal with it that night, I drank in a way that made my Irish ancestors proud. Well, I had three shots of cookie dough flavored vodka. It doesn't take much. Mark made an incredibly acute observation- I'm putting everything into this job and I should focus all that energy into my life and the things I want to do. He's so right. By the time I get home, I'm spent. I don't do anything that I love- I no longer paint, write, or do anything creative. It's ridiculous. Since I met Mark, well over a year ago, I've been talking about moving to Pittsburgh. Have I done it? Shit. I'm still here in Wheeling. Bullshit. I'm not happy. So, his suggestion to refocus that energy really hit home with me.
Later on my birthday, I had a discussion with a friend about Hemingway. I said we should live life like Hemingway. Instead of what would Jesus do, what would Hemingway do. He ran with the bulls, he survived wars. He lived life with gusto. Granted, our lives are quite different. Hemingway didn't drag his ass home after a hard day in retail and I'm not banging broads after a hard day at a typewriter. Underneath it all, there's the desire to do what you want to do. He did. I need to follow his lead.