Tuesday, June 5, 2012

I'm about as popular as leprosy

  I don't know what it is lately, but I can't get a break with dating. I've had a few dates and nothing is panning out. A few weeks ago, I met up with a guy from Israel. Very nice, handsome (like a bald Joseph Fiennes) and very complimentary. In fact, I don't think anyone has ever been so complimentary to me. I'm just not feeling any  sparks. And, he's a bit like a human Pepe Le Pew. We only had one date, and, yet he sends me very romantic texts. "Good morning, sexy Erin". "I wish to see you again". "I enjoyed every minute with you". All the things you want a man to say to you- if you're attracted to him. Plus, he doesn't drive. I hate driving someone around. It's just not going to work. I could maybe do a second date, I'm just afraid he'll show up with a rose clenched between his teeth.
  I had a really great date last week. A six foot four guy named Joe. I know, I've been there before, right? Anyway, he was handsome and we talked for hours. Unfortunately for him, I didn't want to do anything more than kiss. Apparently that was a turn off. Our communication dwindled to a minimum. Listen, I'm not a slut-whore. I don't want just sex. If i do, I'm sure I can get it closer to home. Shit, aren't there any guys who want a damn girlfriend? If so, where the shit are they?!
  I was going to have a date with a guy who is intelligent and not sex-crazed, but he cancelled due to work. He works in robotics. Seriously. I flipped my shit. That's amazing. Plus, I just read Robopocalypse. He might have be useful in the future. I was attracted to his intelligence and beard. Mmmm, beards. I really wanted to go on that damn date. Normally, I'm nonchalant about dates. Who gives a shit, it probably won't work out. But, I was excited about this one. Smart and looks like Ryan Gosling's long lost cousin. Dammit.