Thursday, October 25, 2012

Depressed, part 500

  I should call this blog "I'm so depressed". There's more depression that dating that goes on in my life. I just discovered that my ex's girlfriend has been setting up emails in my name. You know, I'm really trying to forget that whole chapter of my life. I don't even want to remember the good times with him. It needs to be completely eradicated from my mind. Last year, close to this time, I thought I might have breast cancer and found out the love of my life was cheating on me. Flash forward to now- the girl that knowingly cheated with that said love is harassing me. Why? Who knows? She won. She got him. They collectively destroyed me. Let it go. Let me move on. That's all I want. Leave me alone. I have a son that I want to be here for mentally and physically. At this point, he sees me cry a lot. I hate that. Enjoy also destroying a child's life with his mother? I can't move on if I'm constantly harassed. Honestly, it's not fair. But, life isn't fair, I know. It's like I'm in a grave and she keeps throwing dirt on me. Why he would want to be with an individual like that is beyond me. Why she's so obsessed with me is also mind-boggling. I'm just so sad and beaten down. I try to do the right things in life- be a good mom, bust my ass at work, be a supportive friend. Obviously, karma doesn't exist. She's living this great life and I'm being tortured by her. Where's the karma in that? So, congrats. You're also damaging a boy's life with his mother. He gets to see me cry a lot. I try not to, but sometimes I can't help it. How can I forget Patrick and move on if she's constantly reminding me? You'd think she'd want me to forget him. You'd think she'd have her own shit to do. Apparently not. I don't know how to resolve this. I just want to life my life not tethered to some evil person bent on hurting me for some unknown reason. I want to enjoy being with my son and not crying about some bullshit. He deserves better. So, please, for his sake, leave me alone. I know you're reading, LonelyGirl. However you feel about me, set that aside and bury it. There's a boy that needs his mom in mind, body and spirit. You're killing that spirit and it's not fair to him. He doesn't need to see what you're drudging up out of my soul. Move on with your life and let us move on with ours.