I like to pretend my life is a Hollywood movie. Everything would be a lot more glamorous. I would be played by someone better looking-possibly Renee Zellweger or Michelle Williams. My dates would all be better looking, too. I like to keep my options open with lots of potential dates, so I always have a minimum of 3 guys that I message/text. So, let's pretend it's a Hollywood movie and I've actually found someone. We're going back in time ala How I Met Your Mother or that awful Ryan Reynolds movie with Rachel Weiz and Isla Fisher. Who do I end up with?
-Ned (played by Karl Urban). He's 26, works at part-time job and goes to school for something. Gimme a break, I haven't met him, yet. We have a lot in common and have a date coming up.
-Nelson (Ryan Gosling or Lee Pace). He's 34 has an adorable 4 year old daughter. He works as a technical editor. I don't know what that entails. I just roll with it. He's quite the gentleman and can cook like a fiend. Also, haven't met him. We text a bit.
-Nicholas (Jamie Dornan). In his thirties, works as company doing online publicity ( I think. I never pay attention to what people actually do for a living). He has a boy. We had one really great date. He took me to a hip bar, paid for everything and walked around with me. He gave me a hug and wants a second date.
-Rick (James Franco or Billy Corgan). He's 34 and works as some type of engineer. Has a dog and a hot tub. We talk incessantly on the dating website. He's flirty, but still a gentleman. I tend to like him the most which tells me he might be the worst for me. That's just from my general man experience. I get all giddy when he messages.
-John (Robert Downey, Jr.). He's 34, works part-time as a cook, suffered brain damage in an accident 5 years ago. Talks non-stop about sex, which can be quite exhausting. We talk a lot.
-Spacey (James Franco, a very dirty Tom Hiddleston or the fried pot guy from Cabin In The Woods). He's in his late twenties, owns a house, but doesn't work. He's really nice, but really fried. His house is straight up 1970's. Absolutely no aspirations in life, but amuses me.
I think that's it for now. Seriously, who would you choose if you were me? I'm awful at this. I can't choose the right guy if my life depended on it. Do I give up now and become a nun or a cat lady? Is there any potential with any of these men? I'm in the dark here. I might as well try to solve the mysteries of the universe while I'm at it. Maybe I can pick the right guy and find out who killed Kennedy.