Thursday, August 30, 2012

We all knew this was coming- I think I'm Samantha

  Recently, I've been watching a lot of Sex and The City reruns. I, like probably 90% of women, loved the show. When it originally aired, I was married with very limited experience. Sadly, now, I'm living every episode. Of course, every girl wants to think of what character she connects with the most. We all want to be Carrie. Men, shut it, I know you think she's hideous, but we women find her attractive. We love Carrie's fashion sense and quirky sense of humor. She's a fucking cool character. She's a writer for a living! My dream!
  Not too many girls want to be Charlotte. She's pretty and classy, but a prude and sometimes a ditz. Probably only 2% of women want to be Miranda. She's a bitch and not that hot. I don't know what percentage wants to be Samantha. In fact, I'm making up these percentages. However, I feel I've become Samantha. Sometimes guys will text me and I have to think for a minute who they are. I've taken all emotional attachment out of my dating life. I exclusively date younger men. I'm Samantha. The only difference is her body is rocking and she has a high paying job. I'm Samantha in the real world. Can't I be Carrie? C'mon. Everyone tells me I'm fashionable. I have a gold necklace of my name. Jesus, Samantha just gave out advice that sounds like something I once said. I'm Samantha. On the bright side, I got through a toll road the other day with not enough money. The guy was young and very handsome. He put in the rest of the change for me. That's Samantha clout. Carrie would've dropped her change all over the road like some goof-ass and never reached her destination. I'd better just enjoy being who I've become. Let's play a fun game called me or Samantha. Creepin' on a priest? Uncomfortably hits on friend of a friend's friend? Beds a twenty-one year old? Throws a melon at two bitchy girls smashing a window? Pukes up carrots and vodka? If you could guess the answer to any or all of these, you need to devote your time to something more productive than my blogs and reruns of Sex and The City. Although, we are both fabulous.