Sunday, August 19, 2012

I think I just broke up with my one day boyfriend

  After my last date, even though I puked, it didn't spoil things. In fact, the other night I had a weird text interaction with my date. We talked about his love of popcorn, the television show 24 and how he really likes me. Now, I don't necessarily think he's always on this particular planet when he talks to me, but I just roll with it. He wanted to know if I'd seen any other guys since we had our date. He was very curious to know if I was hanging out with anyone. He was curious to know what he was to me- a potential boyfriend, just a good time, or what. I didn't know what to say. I'm in love with love and ready to commit in a heartbeat, but no way in hell will I tell a guy that. Better to lie to myself and all men than get hurt. I kept it aloof. By the end of the conversation, I kind of wondered if I had just snagged a boyfriend. I'm telling you, magic vagina. I should patent this thing. Just kidding.
  Today, I suggested we hang out after work. He seemed to be agitated that I didn't answer my phone at work and things kind of went downhill from there. We talked on the phone for a bit and he mentioned a girl that he had been talking to from the website (hmm, sounds familiar) called him today. They had been trying to plan a date for months. Um, why tell me this? I have no idea. We ended our conversation and I thought, what the shit. It brought up a lot of bad memories for me. The last time I had competition for a man it was for Patrick and I lost. I wanted to think that I wasn't affected by what he did to me by cheating, but, I'll be damned if I'm not. I quickly texted this boy and told him I was out. Not good with competition. He's a little perplexed, to say the least. It's time to pull the troops in and retreat before any losses are suffered. I'm pretty sure my next step in life is hoarding or an insane asylum. I'm not going down a good path. I'm terrified. Patrick damaged me more than I can even believe. It's weird because Bob also cheated, and completely uprooted my life, but it wasn't as painful. Not seeing Viggo is more painful, but I eventually dealt with my hurt feeling for Bob. Not with Patrick. Not at all. I sooooo wish Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind was a reality. I'd do it in a heartbeat.