Winter blows

  Like most people on the east coast, this winter is killing me. It's been a bombardment of snow, ice and bitter cold. This is the worst winter I can remember since '93. Geez, I sound really old making a statement like that. I only recall that winter because I lived with my grandparents at the time. My grandpap wanted me to shovel a tunnel from the back porch to the shed. He totally did one of those man things by telling me I was shoveling the snow wrong. Regardless, two days after I accomplished this task, I could barely move. I was a tiny lady back then. The winter now is miserable in so many ways. Walking is precarious. Tonight I slipped on ice and almost fell, twisting my back in a so not right way. My steps have become my daily Mt. Everest. When I make it to the front door, I feel like I should plant a flag by the door as a sign of accomplishment. Driving in this is even worse. My tires have been as bald as Patrick Stewart's head. My mom, bless her soul, lent me money for new tires. I can finally make it out of the space on my street without struggling. My apartment is pretty warm. That's because my roommate jams the heat. I half expect to see him walking around in Bermuda shorts with a Mai Tai drink, he keeps it so toasty. I miserly turn the heat back constantly. I grew up poor. You learn to layer your clothing and huddle under blankets, not rock the heat. But, I do keep my fingers crossed that the heat doesn't go out. It's happened twice this winter, which is always delightful.
  On the days when I grumble most, I get excited texts from my Russian boyfriend marveling over the snowfall. "Isn't it beautiful?", he'll declare. I'm glad someone can find the beauty. I can only worry about making it safely back and forth to work. These winters are probably nothing to my bf. I'm sure he's thinking we should suck it up. I should, at least. Maybe I shouldn't swear immediately upon exiting my front door in the morning. Sweltering summer will be here before we know it and we'll be whining about the heat. I'll just be happy when walking isn't like some high-wire circus act. Having the grace of a rhinoceros, it's only a matter of time before I fall down.