Thursday, July 5, 2012

The best day of the year

  It might be weird to post about your child on a blog devoted to dating, but I don't care. If there's one male human being that keeps me going, it's this guy. Honestly, if it weren't for him, I wouldn't be here. He's the only one who gives me the ability to wake up everyday. It's so hard to believe that he's eight. When we first met, I wasn't automatically in love. I was too freaked out. Plus, I had postpartum depression. Who knows if women are even being truthful about loving their babies at first sight. I was more concerned with whether he was normal and hearing the doctor say "I'm going to sew you up now". That's heavy shit. Love isn't on your mind. But, I did come to love him. When he grunted as he ate. When he looked into my eyes. Now, he's his own little person, full of ideas and interests. Maybe I spoil him a lot. Then, we argue at fourth of July fireworks celebrations because he wants me to buy him a lightsaber after I've spent all my money on his birthday. Good times. But, I stop and look at him. His beautiful smile, his absolute craziness (surely inherited from his mother), those gorgeous eyes. I love this boy to the depths of my soul. I suddenly become full of love, gratitude and happiness. That's something no one else on earth has ever or will ever give to me. For that, I'm eternally grateful to him. He has no idea. I may be a jackass when it comes to mothering, but underneath it all is an undying love for this boy. July 5th is always the best day of the year.