Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Physician, don't heal thyself

  I'm going on my third week of this sinus infection. After having another breast lump scare earlier in June, I was grateful to just be alright. Until I really screwed up my ear. When I first went to the doctor, two weeks ago, I was told my infection was behind my ear. They couldn't do anything for either of my plugged up ears. They weren't too bad, mostly annoying. Then, I decided I was going to speed things along by trying to clean out my one ear with medicine. And water. And baby oil. Basically, I'm a jackass. It started pulsating with pain and went completely clogged. The pain caused me to become the meanest person on earth. My boyfriend's stepmother went to a doctor who suggested her ear problems were caused by coffee. Of course, he thinks this is the root of my problem. Coffee, not a sinus infection. We've had plenty of back and forth discussions on the matter, always ending with my insistence that the idea is ridiculous. The other day, my ear was throbbing. He asked how I was and I let him know about my pain. He brought up the suggestion of cutting out coffee, again. He poked the bear. The bear responded by calling him "retarded". I had the empathy of Ted Bundy that day. Profuse apologies followed the next day.  
  At work, customers think I'm a snob bitch. I don't hear them approach for help. After I finally help them, they apologize for having bothered me. I feel so awful about it. Normally, I'm very nice and helpful. In an attempt to hear them well, I lean towards them with my "good ear". You know, like a ninety year old man would. It's a shitshow. One can only imagine how loud I'm speaking. I should switch my nametag to say "Gus".
  I think I've learned my lesson. Tomorrow, I'm getting this splint-like thing taken out of my ear. I'm going to let nature take its course to fix the issue.