Tuesday, June 25, 2013
I'm going to skip this day next year
After you're 21, birthdays just aren't that fun anymore. They're quite disappointing. I always look forward to the day, and then gradually hate it more and more as the day passes. This year is no exception. I made the choice to work. I could have requested it off, but, not, why would I do something sensible like that? Instead, I began my day at seven and grumbled all day. I was exhausted for one. It's been unbelievably hot at night and I don't have an air conditioner. At some point, during the past two nights, I've stripped off all of my clothing only to sweat just as much in my nudity. The heat is unbearable. Plus, there's a nightingale that starts his shit up every night around one o'clock. It drives me to the brink of insanity.I was tired and impatient all day because of it. After work, I met up with the boyfriend to go for dinner. That didn't go well, either. Our server was an uncaring, distracted girl. I kept yearning for the man who seated us to take over our service. When he brought us extra napkins, I almost begged him to wait on us instead of her. Another possible mistake was drinking two frozen margaritas. It tends to exacerbate your bad feelings. Things were ok, until it was time for the check. Then, I hear the words "Two checks, please". What. The. Shit. Two? I guess I just expected to get treated on my birthday. I mean, am I wrong? Maybe I am. Maybe I'm a total, pampered ass. But, man, when I heard that, suddenly I was re-evaluating everything. How can he be so amazing in every other way? Is this some kind of karmic trade off? He can be courteous, loving, sweet and adoring, but he'll never pay for your birthday dinner. Am I that shallow that I let it bother me? Yes, apparently I am. Well, that and I didn't get anything. Not a card or anything. I thought he would treat me to dinner. Hell, even Non-boyfriend admitted he didn't get me anything for Valentine's Day but would've taken me to dinner, had we met up. I didn't hide my emotions well, though. He knew I was upset and ended up paying for dinner. I felt like an ass. The rest of the night was him falling asleep for a bit and me crying for about an hour straight. It's just so baffling. He's absolutely amazing. Like the things he says to me give me goosebumps. He told me today that he glimpsed at me sleeping last night and I looked like a movie star, I was so lovely to him. I mean, that's the shit. I've never had a guy say such sweet things to me. And, this is on a daily basis. So, I felt bad about getting upset. He's a great guy and treats me so well that I think it built up these weird expectations in my head of how the day would be. I mean, in the end, I would much rather hear these wonderful things and not get treated special on my birthday. It's like when you're sick and you make those imaginary deals with God or some deity. "Please, God, if I get better I swear to never..." Or whatever is going on that you don't want happening and you'd trade something off for it to go away. In some feverishly lonely moment, I probably made one of these pacts. "Please, give me a strapping, handsome man who puts me on a pedestal and compliments me abundantly. I will give up good birthdays forever!" For now, I just appreciate my many friends who wished me a happy birthday and every other, normal day with my boyfriend.