Saturday, June 20, 2015

Not even a first date


  Unless you're in the dating world, you have no idea how emotionally draining it can be. For someone who works 40 hours per week, online dating is my best option.I messaged a guy on a site who also works at a bookstore. This took us down a rabbit hole of conversation involving books, movies, tv shows and generally feelings about life. This guy seemed like a great match. In fact, I think our match percentage was 87%. We exchanged numbers and texted everyday for a week. I invited him to a free screening of Jurassic World. He had to decline because of work. I invited him to dinner. He had plans with his dad and assured me he wasn't flaky, just busy. To quote "I dig you". We tentatively made plans for a drink after work and I haven't heard from him since. So weird since we were communicating daily. Now, nothing. Did he get my texts? Maybe he lost his phone. Did something bad happen? Creepily, I checked his Facebook. Nope, no human drama going on. I guess that answers the question of whether he died or not. So, why did he quit responding? We haven't even met, so it couldn't be my looks or personality. I sent one last text saying I enjoyed our conversation, but I was basically giving up if he didn't respond. He didn't respond. 
  This is just a typical experience in the dating world. People have a connection. Then, one member of the party inexplicably jumps ship. I'm guilty of it, too. Before we truly get to know someone, we can reject them for any number of reasons. It's a sad reality. For me, if I stop responding to someone, it's generally to spare their feelings. I should have enough balls to say that I don't want to talk anymore. I hate confrontation. So, I'm sure this guy was wrestling with the same emotions. Maybe it was the fact that I have a child? Who knows. 
  I quit responding to a guy when I found out he didn't have a job and wasn't allowed to drive due to a d.u.i. I'm sure I'm not the first woman to have this reaction to this guy. The phrase "Wanna pick me up and we can do something?" dries ladies up like the desert. No, sir, I do not. I already have a child. I think that was the main obstacle with me and the Russian. You really feel like less of a girlfriend and more of a mom when you have to drive someone everywhere. If I do meet a guy with a car and a job, they seem to be emotionally crippled. I've been on two dates with one guy I like but when the goings good, you learn not to expect much. We have great conversations, so that's all one can ask for. He has a great head of hair, sarcastic wit and is a great kisser. I'm not going to have any expectations. No expectations = no disappointment.