Saturday, August 10, 2013

The depth of my disdain for people is immeasurable

  That should be the title to my blog- The depth of my disdain for people is immeasurable. At least for this week. I really despise human beings and want to curl up in a fetal ball in a basement by myself.   It started off with a grand ole' message from a girl on the dating site. I kept thinking of deleting my profile and kept forgetting. It took one big asshole to remind me that I should get right on that. I received a message from an 18 year old girl saying something like "This little piggy cried because she couldn't find a boyfriend. Change your pictures, Grandma." I have so many issues with this that I don't even know where to begin. First, I don't know why she's even looking at my profile. When you log onto the site, it only brings up what your sexual preferences are, like for straight women, it only brings up men's profiles. How did this girl come across my profile? Secondly, why does she keep repeatedly looking at my profile to know I haven't changed my pictures. In one fell swoop, she insinuated that I was fat, lonely and old. I may be a bit chubby, but I'm not fat at all. I wear a size six. Unbeknownst to her, I, in fact, have a boyfriend. A rather attractive one, at that. And, I really don't consider myself to be old. Besides, everyone's genuinely shocked when they find out my real age, so I don't look as old as I am. These were all the thoughts swirling around in my head. Then, I rationally thought, maybe she's jealous or something. Maybe one of her guy friends likes my profile. Who knows? Who cares? I hope she chokes on her dinner.
  The next fun event was my mom calling me, hysterical, saying someone took her cat. She lives in a high rise building for seniors that can care for themselves. Rationally, no one would have any reason for taking her cat. I tried explaining this to her over the phone. Normal words came out of my mouth like "Are you sure she's not hiding?" and "Why don't you call the office and see if anyone had to enter your apartment for any reason?" I was met with "Why did they take my cat?" and "I knew this would happen!" This is when I reminded myself that I have an emotionally and mentally unstable mother who isn't rational. Of course, she found her cat in the hallway. It must have slipped out when she went to the store. But, by this time, she was in full-blown hysteria, which she feels can only be cured by drinking. So, then, I had a night of drunken phone calls. I was supposed to come down for a visit the next day, but that got nixed. She's like a child; I have to really enforce some kind of punishment when she screws up. For her, that's not seeing Viggo. I just will not put him through any of that bullshit, and she needs to be reminded of that. Instead, I brought him up here for a visit.
  Which brings us to the third shitty thing of the week- my boyfriend flaking out on me. We were supposed to meet up on my day off and he could meet Viggo. Kind of a big thing in my world. I told Viggo about him and that we would all do something together.  Then, I start getting these texts about how he's depressed and not sure he can meet. Eventually, he cancelled altogether. Which would have been fine, had it been just me. But, cancelling on Viggo sucks. I then have to explain to him that our plans have changed. Plus, it put me in a bad mood. My days with Viggo are very important to me since our time together is limited. Anyone that affects that in a bad way, makes me upset. Despite all of that, we had a blast together. Thank goodness I have him or I would probably just bust people/things with a baseball bat.
  Some good things did happen. I got a Hello Kitty coffee maker. A crazy Italian man blew kisses at me as we passed at a red light. (I'm assuming he's Italian from my stereotype of how Italian men love women. And, also, foreign men like me more than American ones for some reason.) I spent great quality time with my kid. Yeah, that's it. For more bad- a ceiling tile in my bathroom fell out and gross shit is now hanging from the ceiling. The landlord never made it over to fix it, yet. It seriously looks like green acid from Alien should be dripping from it.
  Jack White apparently hates the Black Keys. This bummed me out. How can a man I love so much hate a band I love so much? An email to his ex-wife leaked out. Their children go to school with Dan Auerbach's kids and Jack White doesn't want to sit together with him at school functions. Damn. In my world, this would be like Michael Fassbender hating Jon Hamm.
  I know these are all first world problems, but they put me on edge. I feel like punching someone. My level of disappointment and anger for people is overflowing. I guess it's just disheartening when your loved ones let you down. It happens and I'll get over it, I just won't quickly. For now, solitude is the best recovery.