Saturday, February 13, 2016


  Because he was always in such a sickly state, the Russian had an idea of what I would do if he died. My mourning would include wearing his shoes and too huge clothes. It's funny because I'm wearing them now after our breakup. It may be the freezing temperature outside or it may be melancholy. I'm going with the former. 
  The break was a long time coming. We shouldn't have gotten back together the first time. Our issues still existed- we never saw each other, his family didn't know about me, he had no idea what he was doing with his life, which caused him frustration. It's not a shock. I can't say bad things about him. He was a good guy. He treated me so well. At every meeting, he'd have a greeting card ready telling me how much he loved me. After we saw each other, he'd send text after text telling me how beautiful I looked. I can't say he was a dick or an asshole. If my friend, Brandi, asks to make his life a living hell, I'll have to tell her "no". Like I said, it wasn't a bad relationship. Age difference, cultural and physical distance did us in. In the end, he was upset, for the millionth time, over something with his parents. He informed me that we would " suspend our usual sweet talk, compliments and gifts for a while". But, that we weren't breaking up. This enraged me. What did this all have to do with me? I bided my time and didn't hear from him for two weeks. Of course, that didn't sit well and the rest is history. It's only fitting that today is his birthday. For some time, I felt sad. A seething anger like a toothache fuels me now. It makes me want to watch Red Dawn ( the original, not the remake) and yell "Wolverines!". Instead, I ate homemade chili and watched War and Peace. I haven't shed a tear. That's not what Wolverines do. I have gotten irrationally angry at sour cream, his choice of topping for pancakes and mashed potatoes. Also, I've made another foray into the online dating world. As usual, getting messages from lots of gems. I guess if your name looks like it would be Bubba and we would have nothing in common, send me a message! If you're attractive and you message me, I'll stare at the phone in surprise for you are the unicorn.