Ah, enough with sadness. I feel like it consumes me. Let's now laugh. I'll revel all with gym tales.
I started using the eliptical machine. My friend has been using it from the start and her midsection looks amazing. Now, I must emulate her to get desired results. I hate this machine. Ten minutes is all I can muster. There's sweat and cursing. I'm seeing small results- my butt is smaller. Lady lumps, be gone! The Russian would be so sad. He loved my hips and curves. God bless. The only man to ever love that shit on me. Anyway, I was so tired after my workout that I walked into the men's locker room. Luckily, I didn't enter far nor encounter any men. What a dope. I've seen quite a few people who come into work there. You know, seeing me at my best- sweatpants, no makeup, red faced and sweating. Making great impressions. But, it's not a pageant. I'm there to suffer.
I've had two dates recently. One was a shit show that ended with a hug. Yes, a hug. Not a good sign. This was our third (and apparently last) date. I drank too much and might've talked about my "grapefruit sized uterus". Just what gets every man's blood flowing. My other date was a second that that went very well. Great conversation and many laughs. We really enjoyed each other's company. Although, I forgot to turn on my porch light until he rang the buzzer. I, then, turned it on, successfully blinding him. We had a nice dinner sans alcohol, so I actually remember my night. No mention of my uterus and I got some knee-knocking kisses. It was exactly what I needed.
I'm hoping that Zelda holds on longer. We're not ready to lose her. She's the best cat I've ever had. She has brought much happiness to two damaged souls.