Sunday, September 1, 2013

Never a dull moment

  There I was driving along, eating Doritos and listening to the Greg Fitzsimmons podcast when I notice a huge spotlight on a car on the opposite side of the highway. Odd, I think, but keep driving. My mind wonders to Charles Manson since I'm driving through his hometown of McMechen, WV when I notice flashing cop lights behind me. I quickly pull over, heart racing. I'm thinking, what the shit? Do I have a headlight out or something? It's labor day weekend and cops are hardcore in McMechen anyways. A very young cop walks up to the window and asks where I'm coming from. "Uh, Moundsville" I reply. He looks over my car and I hear chatter on his radio about a blue Malibu. He quickly responds "I have one pulled over, but it's not it." Apparently, there was a hit and run. He apologized about the mix-up and drove off. I thanked any higher being listening that I wasn't a black man at that moment or I would surely be handcuffed right now. McMechen cops are severe. I had one make me cry once. Lucky for me, I was just an innocent, perplexed lady driving home to Pittsburgh. So, I was just panicked the rest of the ride through WV thinking I'm going to experience this again. Maybe the next one won't be so sure. My car is pretty banged up. I hit black ice once and slid all over God's green earth. My back bumper is scraped from hitting a fence after I hit a duck. My left side mirror is loose from almost getting knocked off by my old roommate's drunk friend. I don't know if this person hit another person or a vehicle. I was getting out of Dodge. I made it home without further incident, but it took a while for me to calm down. I'm taking these asthma pills for what I think is bronchitis. The downside is that they contain Ephedrine. Quite rightly, they suggest avoiding caffeine as your blood pressure will rise. After this, my heart was beating like a ball in a raquetball court. The stress also exacerbated my cough. I sounded like a Tuberculosis patient that just took a hit off a bong. I made it back to the mold infested house that I feel gave me this infection, never being so happy to see this place. I think I need a day off from my days off.